You have at least one pet with one of the following names:
Nick, Tim, SA, Chad, P-Nut, Hexum, Mahoney, Doug, Sexton, Wills, or Aaron.
You've considered Omaha as a possible vacation spot
You've given yourself whiplash while rocking out to any song of theirs
You've wanted to get yourself a '69 Lincoln (with suicide doors)
You used to check the mail for "In Your Face"
You watch for 311 license plates, addresses and phone numbers
Your answer to adversity is "fuck the naysayers"
(If you live in L.A.) you look twice at every silver 911 Porche
You knew of Incubus, No Doubt, The Deftones, Hoobastank, the Black Eyed Peas, NOFX, and Korn probably before most of their "fans" did
You know who Bobby was
You know what the following mean: ETSD, FTBS, WGTH, BTGS, CUTM, SJRTR, WDYD, DLMD
You've affectionately called someone "Star"
You've told the real story behind the bands name
You know who Saint, Pat, Joan, Peter and Adam are
311 Day is a bigger holiday than your birthday
You think it's fate when your total purchase comes to $3.11
You've practiced your SA moves in secret
You're both excited and sad when Nick says "there comes a point in the evening..."
You can match 'Led Zepplin', 'Sugar High', and a Lakers jersey to the right guys
You've got a strong aversion towards "friendly to the radio" music
You know who's West side and who's South side
You've watched ETSD & ETSD2 a billion times
You've made special mixed CD's for each of your friends in subtle attempts to convert them
You've met some of your favorite people on BB or at a show
Your favorite parts of 50 First Dates were appearances by 'Amber' and 'Rub-a-Dub'
Any car ride is a party with all of the albums
You have pictures so old that Chad and Nick have long hair and Tim is tat-free
You've attempted the 311 Milk Challenge
You're savvy enough to catch "mistakes" in the live shows but loyal enough to keep them to yourself
You shaved your hair and bleached it platinum blonde sometime between 1995 and 2000
You've scolded someone who's shrugged off 311's music and are tired of the very old and stupid rumor people still talk about
You've searched for or found The Hive
You've traveled out of state to see them
It's been a goal to learn every lyric
You know who Jim Watson and Ward Bones are
You've cried or felt like crying listening to Beyond the Gray Sky
Any of the bandmembers recognize you from a previous encounter
You know who's got the herb
You know the real words are "check the technique" not "check, check"
You can shout "P-Nut, beat that thang!" with a straight face
You're goal is to conquer three hundred and eleven shows
Your life philosophy includes the ideals of unity, positivity, and "millenium niceness." You remind yourself that, "life's not a race" to "take care of yourself and someone else," and to "stay positive and love your life"
You cringe when non-hardcore 311 fans say they love "Down" or "Amber" (even though you do too)
You've been truly inspired to hear music differently or even learn to play
You love them so much it hurts sometimes
You're torn between wanting them to stay out of the mainstream and wanting everyone to like them
You know you are a hardcore 311 fan if everyone else knows you are too
example: being known as 311 Girl or 311 Boy
You broke up with a girl or guy because they didn't like 311
You keep burned copies of the albums in your car so the originals won't be damaged
You noticed the 311 poster in the movie 'Fight Club'
You cannot name a single favorite song
You know who Jake and Emily are
You get mad goosebumps when hearing certain parts of songs, even though you've heard them hundreds of times
You have a cd case designated for only your 311 albums and live stuff you have found online
when you see a crappy car buy say "that's an awesome car!" only because it has a 311 sticker on it
You mark your calendar and stay up super late to catch them anytime they are on t.v.
You listen to your other music only because you feel bad for abandoning it.
You see someone at a random place wearing a 311 shirt, and you want to just give them a big hug.
You say or think something negative and automatically scold yourself because you feel nick would be disappointed in you for not being positive
Everyone who knows you feels obligated to tell you they saw 311 on TV.
Someone pronounces it three-one-one and you almost puke
You do not dance, can not dance, would not dance... Unless you're at a 311 concert up in the stands because you couldn't get a floor ticket -- and you dance like your life depends on it, and don't give a f*ck what the naysayers think.
You're in a dark hallway with a girl and you feel the need to kiss her.
You feel sorry for those who don't know the splender that is *311*
~*~*You know you are a hardcore 311 fan if this post almost made you cry~*~*
Thank you to kat37at